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View Full Version : poem by me: my cloak


Kikyou18
06-26-2004, 09:07 PM
I write a loooot of poetry!! heres one of my recent ones... sorry that its so long....:stickout:


I have always been cloaked bye a surreal darkness;
be, as it may, brighter than the light of true love surrounding me.
I have felt what drowning is like:
drowning in the sorrows of what my life truly has become.
simple.. echos of my childhood resounding in my head...
my innocent thoughts have left me, been erased bye the cold, hard truth of what this world really does to people.
It's hard to breathe sometimes.
I can be ignorant, not holding fast to my common sense.. the sense that is supposed to guide us in the right direction;
mine being a dark path.
At times, the darkness was vividly tangible, I could taste it, just uas Ive tasted the tears that fall from my eyes. These tears have begun to clear my minde in small amounts..
traces of pain slowly leave my heart, my tattered sould, little by little being revived. Yes,
it seems my cloak is no longer the depths of blackness, but shades of grey.
Ive managed to rip and claw my way up to the light, to see the shape of things.
I peel through layers, driven by my desire to just be whole again. to be in a place of no judgement...
to taste life as it is meant to be....
i see your face...
as my cloak of darkness fades away....

melchior
06-27-2004, 12:21 AM
not bad...

id give 8 out 10

LonelyGhost
06-27-2004, 03:52 AM
Wow this is a very nice poem

Kikyou18
06-28-2004, 11:46 PM
:) aww* thanx... i didnt think anyone would like it... glad you guys do... took me forever to write...

Maxter220
06-29-2004, 09:14 PM
It's an ok poem, I don't like the format it's in though.

Kikyou18
07-05-2004, 10:43 PM
yeh... i copy and pasted from my friends site where i post more of my works... www.visualblurr.net (http://www.visualblurr.net)... it rox!!!

ShadowKnight15
07-05-2004, 11:23 PM
not bad...i like the darkness to it proly a 7 outta 10..i dont know about some off those metaphors and words..no offence better than anything i can do though.




::takes a napkin and runs::