polical jokes

[geotaku292]

How many republicans does it take to screw in a new light bulb?

Three. One to put it in, one to say how the old one was better, and one to blame the democrats.

[Hopeless]

Dont you mean political jokes

It was pretty funny

[PaxBuddy]

uhhh. :disgust:

[geotaku292]

Yes, that was what I meant, but I have the tragic deficeiency of not being able to spell very good.

[CrakinCapn]

Nice. Here's one..

Here is a free puppy
The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.

He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing."

The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats."

Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats."

The girl says, "I'm sorry Mr. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now."

Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"

She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."

[reddog999]

I liked the second one better. I think it was just better than the first.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[geotaku292]

People get really upset when you use the "F" word. So much so, that I can't even write the full word out, but have to referto it as the "F" word. However, despite what many educators, and pious people believe, there are times when the "F" word just makes sense. And that is why we are bringing you ... TIMES WHEN THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE
"What the F was that?" -- Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these F'ing Indians come from?" -- General Custer"
Any F'ing idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein
"It does so F'ing look like her!" -- Pablo Picasso
"How the F did you work that out?" -- Pythagoras
"You want WHAT on the F'ing ceiling?" -- Michaelangelo
"I don't suppose its gonna F'ing rain?" -- Joan of Arc
"Scattered F'ing showers my ass." -- Noah
"I need this parade like I need a F'ing hole in my head." -- John F. Kennedy
"Who the F is going to know? " -- Bill Clinton

[therabbidchimp]

Q: What's a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.

[CrakinCapn]

here, i got a new one.

Hillary goes to heaven
Hillary Clinton died and, Lord knows why, went to heaven. St. Peter approached her and says "Hillary, I know you're 'somebody' down on Earth, but up here, you're just another person. And, I'm swamped right now, so have a seat and I'll get back with you as soon as I can."

So Hillary sits down and begins looking at her surroundings. She notices a huge wall that extends as far as the eye can see. And on that wall there are millions and millions of clocks. She can't help notice that on occasion some of the clocks jump ahead fifteen minutes.

When St. Peter returns she asks "What's the deal with the clocks?"

St. Peter replies "There is a clock on the wall for every married man on Earth."

Hillary asks, "Well what does it mean when the clock jumps ahead 15 minutes?"

St. Peter replies, "That means that the man that belongs to that clock has just committed adultery."

Hillary asks, "Well, is my husband's clock on the wall?"

St. Peter replies, "Of course not. God has it in his office and is using it for an electric fan."

[FallenWings]

blame the democrats for what....? is that really a joke? not that i didnt see the humor, but dont jokes have to fit some definition..? anyway...lol rofl lmao HAHAHAHAHA hehehehehehe omg omg omg omg. LOL. HAX0R

[CrakinCapn]

Alrighty..... ...lol rofl lmao HAHAHAHAHA hehehehehehe omg omg omg omg. LOL. HAX0R Strange...... O.o;;;;;;

[Broken Angel]

"God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." —George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004

"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003


"The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens — she calls me, 'George W.' — 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway — she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen." —George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004

"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter." —George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004

"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004

[W]hether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 8, 2003


"Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration." —George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." —George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

"[T]hat's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." —George W. Bush, Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29,

[CrakinCapn]

[/quote]God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." —George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004

"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003


"The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens — she calls me, 'George W.' — 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway — she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen." —George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004

"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter." —George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004

"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004

[W]hether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 8, 2003


"Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration." —George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003

"We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." —George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003

"[T]hat's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003

"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

"I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." —George W. Bush, Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29,[/quote]

Those are Jokes???

A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what are you doing?"

The boy replied, "I am making George Bush with this manure, Mister."

Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making George Bush? Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?"

The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make Bill Clinton."

"But why not?" asked the man.

The boy replied "Well, Mister, there isn't enough here to make Bill Clinton."

[AnGeL15]

Go Green Party!!!! Wahoo!!!!!!!